Heartbreak in Relationship:Moving Ahead

I have heard that much water cannot quench the fire of love, but the spate at which heart break takes place among the singles as well as the married, everyday is alarming. And that leaves us in a quandary as to how true that statement is.

Love could actually be wonderful when all is well, but when it turned sour it becomes a very dangerous tool of hurt. And so many people who have been involved on the other side of love are now finding it difficult to cope with other relationships because of past hurt, thereby mortgaging their future. If you are among those who now taste the bitter pill of heart break, just hang on with me I have news for you.

Break up in any relationship is not usually easy to bear. It’s something that could shatter your world into pieces. But then that is subject to you, if you want your life to remain shattered. This is because what you allow is what will affect you. What you do not allow cannot affect you. If you keep admitting the pain of a broken relationship into your life continually, you will ultimately be destroyed by it.

Whenever love turned sour, it leaves you with a kind of bitterness in your heart. It is like your world has come to an end and life seems to hold no more meaning for you. Consequently you recoil into your shell of sorrow, mourning your lost love. And you may sometimes lose your mind trying to do so.

Friend, I have something to tell you: your life is too precious to be sacrificed on the altar of the love that could not work yesterday. It’s gone! Face the stark reality. You cannot do anything about your past but then there is something you can do today to make sure your future is still secured. Do not let the aborted relationship of yesterday hold your tomorrow hostage.

Look at things this way; if your ex-lover has any relevant part to play in your future he could have stayed. God might just be delivering you from the hazard the relationship may cause you in the future. Its better you face up to the heartbreak now and get over it and start all over. Why should the relationship that did not work yesterday hold you to ransom today and closed the doors of so many opportunities that would come your way in the future.

That your relationship failed does not mean it’s the end of life for you. And does not in any way mean you can't build another that would last a lifetime. Do not build a wall of defense around you because of your past experience. It is not worth it. Some people closed up after been jilted. That is not the best thing to do. It would stop you from a very flourishing experience in the future.

Do not change your philosophy to accommodate your tragedy, that all men are wicked or that all women are daughters of evil. You were only unfortunate to meet the wrong person who happens to break your heart. There are so many great men and women out there that you have not met yet. So why close your life to them because of one wrong relationship. One bad egg must not be used as judgment against others.

You still have a great life ahead of you because what lies ahead is greater than what lies behind. There is glory you have never known than the story you behind you. The world is too loaded with wonderful people, so break out of your cocoon of bitterness, and give life another chance. Who knows you will thank God that things happened the way they did. Your heart may be broken but do not destroy it by dwelling on your broken relationship. There is hope still.

Taking Risk On Love

Life they say is a risk. But my question is. Should one venture into something blindly because it’s risky not to take risk? I think there are certain risks in life that should be avoided, when a calculated analysis of the situation on ground is taken. People sometimes jumped into relationships without counting the cost especially when it has to do with love.

People have entered into a wrong relationship before they made the greatest discovery of their lives. Amazingly they will not quit the relationship even after the discovery that the relationship would not work. They continue in the relationship with the hope that a change might take place in the future and alas the change they anticipated never comes. So they end up enduring instead of enjoying the relationship. It then ultimately ends up in disaster of heartbreak. There is an adage that says no matter how long you spend on the wrong road you can never end up in the right destination. It is therefore wisdom to do a U-turn before it is too late.

Do not think someday the relationship would work when all the signs that it won’t happen, are all staring at you in the face. Relationship should be entered into with careful observation and unbiased analysis, especially if it has to do with the heart. The heart is too delicate for you to give away carelessly. You are the only one who has the power to manage your heart properly. No one seems to know the value of their heart until it is splintered. The truth is, once it is shattered it can never be the same. It could be healed though, but then it leaves you with a scar forever. So, if you do not want to live with a broken heart, avoid the risk. Only do when you have made up your mind to take responsibility for your action and the consequences that may follow.

EMOTION

Every relationship that is built on just emotions only, is treading on dangerous ground. The focus on feelings, goose bumps, sweet words and gifts has made many miscalculated. Love is more than feeling. It is an informed decision on your part to stand by another person. When you allowed your emotion to control you then you are in serious trouble. Some people would say they were swept off their feet the moment they met their love. Little wonder they never got to be planted in that relationship.

A successful relationship is the one that is organized and worked out through strong decision and mutual understanding. So do not say life is a risk and jump into every available risk you see. Do not take that risk on love by diving into it emotion first. Look before you leap. At least it will help you not to fall into that ditch call heart break.

The Unspoken Words in Relationship

Words play a very vital part in our life as humans. The creation of the world was by words. Nothing will ever work without words. Just imagine the world for a moment without sound, without words. If everyone were to be deaf and dumb life would be excruciatingly frustrating. That is why words are not cheap. To be able to talk is one of the greatest gifts given to you by God.

The ability to communicate is too essential in any relationship you are building or intending to build. When words are well spoken it brings refreshing to the soul, if not it creates disaster. Relationships are built through the power of words and are also scattered through words also. Wars begin because of words. Peace is also brokered through words. You need to understand that words links people and it separates as well. You must also take into consideration the fact that your word today has the capacity to create the world you will live in tomorrow. One wrong word has sent people to jail or even out of life.

WORDS ARE IRRETRIEVABLE

Words are absolutely irretrievable, no matter how much you apologized for saying the wrong things. The fact still remains that you cannot withdraw your statement from the minds of people, as the mind is a very powerful storage device. They will always be remembered. The words that will not be remembered are the ones unsaid. So wisdom demands that you manage your words in any relationship whether with friends, employer, teachers, parents, children, spouse etc.

Sometimes people say things before they reason it out only to discover that the harm has already been done. Words will always determine your mood. It can create an atmosphere of peace or that of trouble, acceptance or rejection. Words are great tools you can use to shape a great relationship. Right words are the platform upon which great and exciting relationships is established. Voicing your displeasure in an angry emotional state could lead to something you never bargained for. You can devise a means to say an unpleasant thing in a way that the effect may not be felt, yet be well noted.

Don’t be too generous with wrong and harsh words in the name of saying it as it is without been considerate. Good words create good relationship. Great words make great friends. Excellent communication builds an excellent affair. Which do you prefer. The choice is yours.

Nakedness in Relationship:A Priority

Truth they say is bitter sometimes, but then we must not forget the fact that this same bitter truth has the propensity to liberate. In any relationship that must survive the test of time it is required that partners should go naked. You see, to my own opinion, secrets are important in relationships, especially when you feel that it has a destructive tendency when revealed. So for the sake of the health of that relationship one may decide to keep a particular destructive secret stash away in their hearts and hope that the other partner does not get to find out. And if the person does, depending on the level of his or her understanding hell may be let loosed. And the rest can be best left to the imagination. So to avoid certain degree of conflict go naked, that is be open to your partner.

We all have a past and some skeleton in our cupboard we don’t want anyone to know about, including your partner. And skeleton in the cupboard are not too healthy. They have a way of sending up stinking smells at the time you least expect it. That is how certain secret in our past tends to sometimes rear their ugly heads when we least expect them. Some relationships that were once envied had packed up just like that, because of lack of truthfulness. Insincerity is something that is not helpful at all in relationship. It is facts that whenever you tell a lie to your partner you lie to yourself as well. In fact you will feel the brunt of that lie more, because within your heart you know you have done something wrong, but then your spouse would believe it was the truth you told and would go about his normal life not carrying any weight in his heart. But you will have the weight of guilt hanging on you that is for those who have conscience.

I believe that the reason for distrust in a relationship is rooted in somebody not been committed truthfully. And once there is mistrust in any affair that relationship is standing on shaky legs. So you see nakedness pays. And remember this; the beauty of any human being does not lay in what they wear but the body behind what they wear. God knew this, which was why he created the first man and woman naked. They were open to each other and as long as they were that way there was nothing like shame. If you like you could interpret shame as conflict because shame is a negative word. In conclusion if you must enjoy the juice of any relationship nakedness is a must.

Please Love Yourself

Love is one four letter word that has brought happiness into the life of so many people as well as pain. You are created for love; to love be loved. However, for you to be a good lover of another you must first and foremost learn to love yourself. It would be self deception to say you love others when you don't love yourself.

There is just no one that is not loveable irrespective of your stature or beauty. It takes accepting who you are to get others to accept you. Many times I have seen people who don't like the way they were created by God. "If only I was fair in complexion," you hear someone say and so if they sit by a fair complexion person, they feel intimidated. They think the light complexion gets all the attention and loveg.
(this happens mostly among women). Its sad that some people think that way, but then its not true that dark skinned people get less attention and are loved less.

Friends, no matter who you are; tall, short, fat, slim, dark or light, love yourself if you want others to love you. You can't attract love until it is found in you. You cannot be busy putting yourself down and expect someone to come raise you up. You must first put in effort to raise yourself. Look yourself up in the mirror and feel good and be happy with the person staring back at you from the mirror.

It is said to love your neigbhour as yourself. So to love others you must love yourself first.

Fred Egba